There's a stat that says "90% of people think about themselves 90% of the time." I'm pretty sure that's accurate.
It's engrained in human nature. You eat for yourself, you go to school for yourself, you get a job for yourself, and you get married for yourself. Then you have kids and "Whoaaahh! What a wake up call.”
There's another stat that I heard which says only 5% of people in the world write thank you cards. I don't doubt that one either.
When last did you receive a legitimate thank you card from someone? People are generally pretty selfish.
That's why initial meetings can be awkward. There are a lot of nice gestures and cordial poses, but no one knows enough about each other to really care.
"What are we going to get out of this? And am I really interested in this conversation?”
I feel privileged to work with people who are in the top 5% of the thank you card writers, but still, many times first meetings or partnerships start out selfish. They could end wonderfully. But the majority of the time, it’s a selfish start to the conversation with everyone holding their cards close to their chest and looking out for Number 1 (themselves).
Agendas are on both sides of the table—he wants something, you want something. And you can both have it.
It's a conscious thing to start caring about someone else’s life and their success over your own. Love can be cliché, but true love is putting your life (and agenda) aside for someone else.
You have to work with selfish people simply because you can't get away from it. But once you get to know each other and establish a common goal together, the walls of personal agendas can be broken down and a real relationship formed.
It could start selfishly and end wonderfully. There’s only one part of that equation that’s needed.
It’s a longterm investment to put other people’s interests in front of your own. The more you start looking for win-win relationships, the larger the mountains that can be moved.
Might be cliché in your book, but once you’ve experienced a winning relationship, those are the only ones you want to cultivate. Try it sometime.
(photo via jmcintosh)
Posted on June 19, 2014
by Tim & Tommy filed under