The Engaging Email Introduction

The Engaging Email Introduction

In our last post, we talked about the five points of communication. The first point is called The Engaging Introduction.

There’s nothing worse than a lame introduction that leaves the receiver feeling bored and disinterested. Why would I want to talk to you if your intro email is boring me to death? You think I want to have coffee with you? Nah, I’ll pass.

Let me give you an example. You get an email from a lady who wants you to help her and give her more info.

Subject: I have so many questions

Hi [Insert Your Name], my name is Sandra Mills (fake name) and I am a post-employee seeking a engaged connection with you who I know your former life is very interesting to me and I would like to get together.

I have many questions for you, can you get together tomorrow? Or I could possibly do the next day...

Thanks and I owe you big time.

Sandra M.

BORING! And creepy! You probably want me to buy you lunch too? And then go to the movies?

I fell asleep in the first sentence and stopped reading. I don’t really remember this person and if I did, it’s probably because they were creepy and never blinked their eyes.

This is NOT an engaged introduction.

Try something like this instead:

Subject: Drilling Water Wells & Producing Profits :: How Can I Help You?

Hi [Insert Your Name], my name is Sandra Mills (not her real name). You may not remember me, but we met in passing at the XYZ event last week. We shared a joke about how I’ve always wanted to meet a Trillionaire.

To recap, I’m fascinated by the social impact movement and how to blend philanthropy with startup cultivation. I’m new to your city and heard you mention a number of community events that you’re involved in.

My background is in the social non-profit world and I think you would have a lot of insight as to where I can get connected and help other local non-profits in the community.

I would love to get together with you some time, but I know you are very busy. Would you mind sending me a few short thoughts over email?

I’m excited about your vision and would love to help in anyway. When are your monthly events and how can I help?

Thanks for your insight and direction,

Sandra M.

This is a much more engaging introduction email. And here’s why:

  1. She recaps how we met and the joke we laughed about together.
  2. She shares her passion and heart about social impact.
  3. She respects my time and doesn’t assume we can get together.
  4. She keeps the email short and to the point.
  5. She offers to help, even though she’s not exactly sure how she can help.

My response to this email would be immediate and cordial. I would most likely invite her to our next event, where we could discuss in more depth what things she thinks she could help with in the community.

Then, if she’s looking for an introduction or a job, I’d be much more likely to go out of my way to send introductory emails to my network.

  • Never assume someone remembers you.
  • Never assume they’ll help you and have time to meet you.
  • Always assume they are busy and think through how you can help them.

If you’re all about what you can get and how you can get it from the person on the other end, then you’ll find the quality of your meetings will decline significantly over time because the coolest people will think you’re weird. And they’ll pick up on the fact that you’re very self-serving.

And that’s just the honest truth from my perspective.

(photo via jaxport)